When dealing with chronic pain, it is common to lose patience, feel irritated easily, and snap at others. Pain itself is irritating, and many other issues like stress and sleep problems can also increase our irritability. It can start to interfere with relationships and sabotage our support systems at a time when we need more support than usual.

Here are 5 tips for dealing with anger and chronic pain that may be relevant to anyone with chronic pain or illness.

1. Don’t Be Ashamed

Everyone experiences anger. Anger is a natural emotion but it can get out of control. If you feel anger very intensely, you overreact frequently, feel anger “all the time”, or have problems with being physically or verbally aggressive, anger might be a problem for you.

You might feel ashamed or feel weak because anger has gotten the better of you too many times. Acknowledging you have an anger problem and taking steps to improve yourself takes great strength. Millions of adult Americans struggle with chronic pain and anger every day; know that you’re not alone.

2. Express Your Feelings

Keeping your feelings inside without ever expressing them is like a teapot without a spout: eventually the pressure is going to build up, and you’re going to burst. You need some way to release that valve and express those feelings in a healthy way.

Keeping your feelings bottled up can be detrimental to your physical health (like heart disease and sleep issues) as well as mental health (such as anxiety and depression). Find healthy ways to express the feelings within you. Try creative things like painting, music, drawing, and other forms of artistic expression.

Talk to someone close to you about how you are feeling or consider sharing with a therapist or support group. Writing in a journal can also be helpful in expressing your feelings.

3. Practice Relaxation

When anger and other intense emotions arise, mindful breathing can help you stay grounded and maintain control over your reactions. Focus on taking slow, deep breaths and consciously relax your body. Practice deep breathing on a regular basis: try it once in the morning and once in the evening. Finding a way to relax in the morning can set the tone for the rest of the day and make you more resilient against stress. Relaxing at night can help with getting to sleep.

There are many other ways to relax that you can incorporate into your daily life including hot showers or baths, massage, relaxing music, and aromatherapy. These may feel “extra” but you deserve to take care of yourself… and if they help you relax, they’re beneficial! Relaxation helps reduce mental and physical tension which can add to our chronic pain and irritability.

It’s hard to be angry with someone while you are feeling very relaxed. Next time you know you might get upset in a conversation, practice relaxation beforehand and notice how it makes you less likely to get upset and better able to control anger.

4. Keep Up With the Basics: Exercise, Nutrition, and Sleep

Exercise Regularly: Exercise has been found to reduce stress and improve mood. Incorporate light exercise into your daily routine to help manage chronic pain and associated stress.

Eat Healthy Foods: Eating nutritious foods can make a big difference in managing chronic pain and anger. Make sure to incorporate lots of fruits and vegetables into your diet, as well as healthy proteins and fats.

Get Enough Sleep: Lack of sleep can exacerbate chronic pain and can lead to increased anger. Aim for getting seven to eight hours of quality sleep every night.

5. Engage in Physical Activity

Physical activity is a great way to not only reduce physical pain but also reduce stress and anger. Exercise releases endorphins, which are hormones that make us feel good. Endorphins are nature’s painkiller (and they’re free!)

When you’re feeling tense and upset, try going for a walk: go outside and get some fresh air. Once you’ve calmed down, you can return and be less likely to say or do something you’ll regret.

You don’t have to run marathons and lift giant weights: swimming in a pool, yoga, and tai chi are all great way to increase flexibility, reduce stress, and release tension from the body. Physical activity can also help to reduce feelings of anger and get out extra energy.